hi. i have too many tumblrs.

Business

1. me: i can still be reminded that you're funny
2. also
3. if you had a kid
4. and it was after dinner
5. and kid was like 'I WANT OREOS FOR DESSERT' and you were like 'ok, go get NUMBER from the pantry'
6. what would that number be
7. Kristin: full sized oreos
8. regular, life size oreos?
9. if my kid was under 8
10. id say 2
11. me: who the fuck brings up hypothetical situations about mini-oreos, kristin
12. Kristin: if they were older id say three
13. I JUST WANT TO BE CLEAR ON THE FUCKING FACTS
14. me: what if they were 25? like JUST turned 25
15. Kristin: 4
16. four for 25 year olds
17. me: but it's still within in my birthday month
18. Kristin: then, after you pass your 30th birthday you go down again
19. me: OH NO1
20. Kristin: at 40 you are back to two
21. and then you go back up again
22. me: listen.
23. i'm eating five
24. Kristin: and by 80 you can have the whole box
25. me: haha
26. oh to be 80
27. Kristin: fine.
28. i think i should make a graph for oreos and age
29. but i dont have time
30. me: you most definitely should
31. Kristin: i need an ASSISTANT